Different Ways Anxiety Can Show Up for Women Over 40
For many women over 40, anxiety doesn’t always look the way it did earlier in life. It can quietly grow during seasons of change — children becoming independent, shifts in relationships, caring for ageing parents, health concerns, career transitions, or the deep internal questioning that often arrives in midlife.
While anxiety is a natural human response, when it becomes persistent, heavy, or starts to interfere with daily life, gentle support can make a meaningful difference. This article explores some of the common ways anxiety may show up for women in this stage of life.
What Is Anxiety?
Anxiety is part of our nervous system’s built-in protection system — it’s the body’s way of trying to keep us safe. In short bursts, this response can be helpful. But when the nervous system remains on high alert for long periods, even when we are not in danger, it can become physically and emotionally exhausting.
For many women over 40, this can feel like living in a constant state of “holding it together.”
Ongoing Worry and Overthinking
Some women experience persistent, hard-to-switch-off worry. This may involve:
Constant “what-if” thinking about family, health, finances, or the future
Feeling keyed up, tense, or easily drained
Difficulty relaxing, even during quiet moments
A sense of always needing to stay in control
Carrying this level of mental load for years can feel incredibly heavy.
Health-Focused Anxiety in Midlife
As the body changes with age, it’s common for health concerns to become more prominent. For some women, fear about health becomes a major source of distress, including:
Frequent checking of the body
Repeated online searching of symptoms
Seeking reassurance that only brings short-term relief
Often it is the constant worry itself that feels most distressing.
Panic and Sudden Surges of Anxiety
Some women experience sudden waves of intense anxiety that can feel frightening and unpredictable. This may include:
Rapid heartbeat
Dizziness or chest tightness
Shortness of breath
A strong sense that something terrible is about to happen
The fear of these episodes returning can sometimes lead women to avoid certain situations, places, or activities.
Specific Fears That Develop Later in Life
It’s not uncommon for new fears to appear in adulthood — such as driving, flying, medical procedures, storms, or public speaking. Even thinking about the feared situation can trigger anxiety. With the right therapeutic support, many women find these fears can soften and become much more manageable.
Social Anxiety and Fear of Judgement
For some women, confidence can quietly erode over time. Social anxiety may involve:
A strong fear of being judged or misunderstood
Feeling overly self-conscious in groups or conversations
Replaying interactions repeatedly afterwards
Often, the desire for connection is still very much there — anxiety simply overwhelms it.
Obsessive Patterns of Anxiety
Some women experience distressing, repetitive thoughts paired with behaviours aimed at gaining a sense of safety or relief (such as checking, washing, or mental reviewing). These cycles can be exhausting and difficult to shift without support.
Trauma-Related Anxiety
Past experiences — including relationship trauma, grief, medical trauma, or long-term stress — can leave the nervous system stuck in a heightened state of alert. This may look like:
Intrusive memories or dreams
Sleep difficulties
Strong emotional reactions to reminders
Feeling constantly on edge
While trauma can deeply shape a woman’s nervous system, healing and restoration are possible.
Separation-Based Anxiety in Adulthood
Separation anxiety is not only experienced in childhood. Some women feel intense distress when away from loved ones, partners, or familiar environments, particularly after loss, relationship breakdown, or major life changes.
Anxiety Around Leaving Home or Being in Public
For some women, busy environments such as shopping centres, crowds, public transport, or wide-open spaces can begin to feel overwhelming. Staying close to home may feel safer for a time, yet with gentle support, confidence and freedom can slowly rebuild.
Support for Women Over 40 Is Available
If any of these experiences feel familiar, please know:
You are not broken
You are not weak
You are not alone
Anxiety in midlife is common, understandable, and deeply human — especially for women who have spent decades caring for others while quietly setting themselves aside.
There are gentle, evidence-informed counselling approaches that can help women over 40:
Regulate their nervous system
Rebuild emotional safety
Reconnect with their identity
Learn to live with more steadiness and self-trust
If you’d like to talk more:
🌿 Thyme Therapy offers calm, supportive telehealth counselling for women across Australia.
If you feel ready to explore support, you’re welcome to book a free 15-minute connection call to see if we are the right fit.
👉 Book your free chat at: www.thymetherapy.com.au
💻 Telehealth counselling available Australia-wide
About the Author
Kate G is a qualified counsellor with a Bachelor of Counselling and the founder of Thyme Therapy, providing personalised online counselling for women navigating anxiety, overwhelm, and life transitions. With a warm, down-to-earth approach, Kate supports clients to build confidence, find clarity, and reconnect with themselves — one step at a time.
Disclaimer:
This article is for general information and educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional psychological assessment, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are experiencing significant distress, please seek support from a qualified mental health professional, Lifeline 13 11 14 or your GP. If you are in immediate danger, call 000.