The Silver Lining That Became a Blindfold
Sometimes the ‘good side’ we cling to becomes the very thing that keeps us from seeing the truth. For me, what looked like hope slowly became a blindfold.
For most of my life, I’ve leaned toward optimism. I believed in second chances, the power of love, and the idea that with enough effort, most things could be fixed. But what happens when positivity becomes a mask — one that hides pain instead of helping you heal?
The Bright Side I Wanted to Believe In
In a past relationship, things started beautifully. We laughed easily, shared interests, and for the first time in a long time, I felt seen.
When jealousy crept in, I brushed it off as a “small problem” — something we could work through together. I believed if I just loved harder, stayed positive, and held onto hope, things would improve.
After all, don’t all relationships have rough patches?
The Red Flags I Chose to Ignore
That jealousy deepened.
Socialising became a minefield. Friends I once cherished drifted away — not because I wanted them to, but because it was easier than enduring the backlash.
Accusations came thick and fast, grounded in nothing but fear and control. Still, I clung to the silver lining. I convinced myself:
“He’s just hurt. He’ll get better.”
Eventually, he agreed to therapy. But it quickly became clear it was more about appeasing me than any genuine willingness to change. Superficial effort without internal work is like patching a roof without fixing the leak underneath.
The Moment I Said “Enough”
There was a moment — sharp, chaotic, unforgettable.
Angry words, turmoil, and finally, intervention by authorities.
And then the words I had rehearsed in my mind but never believed I’d say:
“It’s over. Leave.”
In that moment, the smile I had worn for so long cracked — and so did the illusion.
The relationship I had poured myself into wasn’t built on love.
It was built on fear, denial, and emotional abuse.
When Positivity Becomes Self-Betrayal
There’s a difference between hope and self-abandonment.
Between patience and erasure.
Between choosing to see the good and choosing not to see the truth.
Clinging to positivity kept me trapped. It softened red flags, rationalised mistreatment, and made me responsible for someone else’s healing while abandoning my own.
Reclaiming my truth meant breaking that lens.
Healing Through Honesty
My healing didn’t begin the day he left.
It began the day I stopped trying to “fix” something that wasn’t mine to fix.
The day I honoured what I felt instead of explaining it away.
Sometimes, when people are living with emotional harm or in a relationship that feels unsafe, the pressure to “stay positive” becomes another layer of silence. For some women, that silence also extends to the digital world — when someone monitors devices, checks messages, or uses technology to control their movements or privacy.
If this is part of your experience, you’re not alone.
The following external, non-sponsored guide offers practical steps to help protect your online safety and personal information:
👉 https://www.expressvpn.com/blog/tech-safety-for-survivors-of-domestic-violence/
Because the guide was created outside Australia, here are Australian support services you can contact if you need immediate or confidential help (only if it feels safe to do so):
1800RESPECT (24/7): 1800 737 732
DVConnect Women’s Line (Qld): 1800 811 811
Lifeline (24/7): 13 11 14
Police / Triple Zero: 000
If any part of this resonates with you, please know this:
It’s okay to stop hoping it gets better and start hoping you get better.
Real positivity is grounded in truth — even when that truth hurts.
You deserve relationships that feel safe, honest, and steady.
You deserve your own healing, not just hope.
If you’re navigating emotional recovery or starting to see the signs, you don’t have to do it alone.
🌿 Thyme Therapy offers calm, supportive telehealth counselling for women across Australia.
If you feel ready to explore support, you’re welcome to book a free 15-minute connection call to see if we are the right fit.
👉 Book your free chat at: www.thymetherapy.com.au
💻 Telehealth counselling available Australia-wide
About the Author
Kate G is a qualified counsellor with a Bachelor of Counselling and the founder of Thyme Therapy, providing personalised online counselling for women navigating anxiety, overwhelm, and life transitions. With a warm, down-to-earth approach, Kate supports clients to build confidence, find clarity, and reconnect with themselves — one step at a time.
Disclaimer:
This article is for general information and educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional psychological assessment, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are experiencing significant distress, please seek support from a qualified mental health professional, Lifeline 13 11 14 or your GP. If you are in immediate danger, call 000.